29 y/o trans butch lesbian | my aesthetic has been described as "forest goth" | chronic 4 to 6 with occasional 7/8s on the pain scale | if you wanna help me get out of debt, im on cashapp at $coffeeshark and on paypal at coffeeshark | gofundme | if you wanna buy me something nice: my wishlist (PM me for my address) and my steam wishlist
Across the country, state and local governments are running modern-day debtors’ prisons that rip families apart because they cannot afford fines and fees owed to courts, including for traffic offenses and misdemeanors. For single mothers of color, who are far more likely to live in poverty, the consequences are nothing short of devastating. I represent four of these women, including Brown, in Brown v. Lexington County, South Carolina, the ACLU’s lawsuit against one of the most draconian debtors prisons we’ve ever seen.
In Lexington County, indigent people are jailed for weeks or months at a time when they simply cannot afford to pay court fines and fees without ever seeing a judge, being given a court hearing, or receiving help from a lawyer.
A man raped me when I was 18 years old. I was just starting to get comfortable with my sexual self, and the assault forever changed how I approached sex. As I recovered, I renegotiated the process of creating a safe, healthy sex life — and found that some aspects of that sex life were actually better than before. But why?
Reclaiming a sexual identity has led some survivors to a similar place: They’re having better sex than they were before they were assaulted — and often they tie these improvements to the experience of coping with assault. These survivors can become more focused on pleasure, enthusiastic consent, assertive communication, and sexual exploration than they were pre-assault. This kind of post-traumatic growth has led survivors forward to more embodied, communicative, and pleasurable sex — not just for other survivors, but for all of us.
“I would never say [the assault] was a positive thing, and it still affects me really badly,” says Angela, a rape survivor. Even so, she found that in the wake of her assault her sex life improved — and her perspective on sex fundamentally changed. Angela worked with her partner towards more clear consent and made sure she was actively engaged during sexual encounters.
Before she was assaulted, Libby says she had a disembodied relationship with sex. “My first experience of it was somebody taking something from me that wasn’t mine entirely,” she explains. Experiencing sexuality in an intensely negative way causes many survivors to question assumed power dynamics. Savannah says that growing up, she absorbed the idea that “sex was something to give to a man to show him how grateful I was for him.”
Savannah, Libby, and many other survivors start to question these notions after their assaults. As Libby got older and articulated that what had happened to her was assault, she began to think: “there’s a lot more here, in terms of having sex, for me to go find and take for myself.”
Survivors often focus on pleasure over orgasm. “Many survivors have a hard time orgasming because orgasming requires surrender,” Julie explains. “After assault, you have fear in your nervous system during sex and it can be hard to let go, in that way.” For her, sex is about sharing intimacy — not about climaxing. Rather than asking if she’s close to finishing, she instead focuses on asking “How am I experiencing pleasure? How am I taking pleasure from giving my partner pleasure?” Sex has recentered on foreplay, erogenous zones, and exploration.
“Aw man I wish you could like go on ~platonic dates~ with friends and like sleep in the same bed as your friend and cudddle with your friends and have someone that you don’t just hang out in groups with but like, have long deep conversations and share secrets”
I don’t know what the fuck happened to you guys younger than me in your formative years but literally everyyyything you’re describing is something that was included in the concept of ‘best friends’ as it was repeatedly presented to me as a child and teen.
SOmething happened along the way that got so many people thinking that ‘friend’ is ‘anyone and everyone you repeatedly have ‘friendly’ contact with’ and that’s NOT TRUE.
We need to seriously bring back the word ‘acquaintance’. You need to familiarize yourself with it.
Because all of you complaining about having friend groups full of people who talk shit about you or exclude you? You don’t have friends, those are acquaintances.
Those ‘friends’ who don’t actually know much about you and aren’t that concerned about you? Acquaintances.
Those ‘friends’ you know who wouldn’t go one on one with you shopping, to lunch, to the movies? Acquaintances.
You are acquainted. You know each other. You are friendly towards each other. But that’s it. You’re not friends.
Somewhere along the way the term ‘friend’ became ‘anyone you know and talk to in a positive manner’ and that’s fine but in that case we ALSO need to re-legitimize the term best friend.
Because to a one, every post whining about ‘platonic mates’ and pining for ‘platonic dates’ is literally just someone wishing they had a best friend.
All of them.
Addition: You can be friendly to someone without being friends. Everyone who is friendly to you isn’t necessarily your friend.
And that’s okay. Having people in your life that are not and never will be your friends is normal and good.
It helps you see and thus value who your friends actually are. They’re special people for a reason.
If something falls into ruin a necromancer will move in 100% of the time
There is a critical mass of gold that will summon a dragon. If you keep accurate records and stay below it you’ll be fine
I’m sorry, sir, if you don’t renovate your summer keep and live in it at least one month out of the year, we’ll have to charge you with Negligent Dungeonization of Property. The old cellar laboratory might have belonged to your uncle, but if you aren’t going to use it, something will.
The players are a squad of government investigators, trying to prevent monsters from claiming new habitat. It’s mainly negotiation but sometimes people have an interest in attracting dangerous entities for their own purposes.
I love this so much!! GIVE 👏 ME 👏 DUNGEONS 👏 WITH 👏 BACKSTORIES
